#13 Mental(ity)

Time since launch: 17 months
$ spent: $1 Mil +
Current challenge: Christmas timelines, other peoples’ stress, and life interruptions.

The last few months have been mental.

When people have asked me how I am, or how Fluff is, I haven’t known the best way to respond. I mean — I could just say: good.

Or I could tell the truth:

I’ve been working to launch three new products in the most unrealistic timelines imaginable. Buying time costs money.

To get said money I’ve written countless versions of an investment deck that sometimes I don’t even know how to answer what Fluff is anymore.

When I pitch the future of Fluff, most people that I talk to are solely interested in making 10x return in 2-4 years.

Even my business partner and I can’t seem to agree on anything — except wanting to agree on something — and how much we care about Fluff.

This all came to a head when I broke up with someone and realised that maybe they weren’t the problem, in fact, I was.

In a sequence of events, I got some form of ‘the flu’ & my body shut down. I realised it was telling me something. These emotions were data, and I needed to do something with it.

My business partner made me stay in bed for two days, of which I stared at the roof and contemplated both the origin of ceiling fan dust and also where I’ve been, what my current situation was, and finally: where to from here?

I did the only thing I know to do — dive all in, & figure out the task that was hindering my task: me.

Over the last few months I’ve explored:

Kinesiologists.
Psychologists & Business Coaches.
Psychics.
Ayahuasca.

I realised that while books and podcasts and talking to myself, my friends, and family have helped, I should probably talk to someone else. What’s been interesting is how many people have consoled me instead of congratulating me when I’ve said I’m seeing a psychologist.

I wanted to write about this now, as I do about business in general because I believe a big part of the problem is that we write about these things when we are out on the other side, better. Instead of when we’re going through it, when people probably need to hear — and talk about — it most.

Because the obstacle is the path.

Along the way, here are a few of the realisations I’ve had:

I’m a highly sensitive person.

I have a deep fear of deceit and betrayal in all my relationships. My overwhelming narrative is one of confusion.

This grit or resilience I seem to have is a coping mechanism I developed/learned as a child and have mimicked in business and life. It’s served me well in most areas — to date.

I’m good at what I do often, and bad at what I don’t often do. This means I’m good at branding and marketing, and not so great at negotiating investment deals.

I haven’t had fun in business for a long time. 8 years to be specific.

Lately, it’s been easy to get caught up in the stresses of work, and I’ve forgotten the reason I started — to make beauty casual. But if I’m taking everything too seriously, and not having fun myself, how can I expect anyone else to?

I’ve realised that I need to prioritise this in every decision I make and that we make as a company. This isn’t to say things won’t be or I’ll avoid stressful situations, but instead that I’ll try to keep this idea of fun at the top of our minds.

On this — I’ve been talking to some of my friends about how hard we are on ourselves in regards to time and expectations on output. A friend moved back overseas and after a week and a half was feeling bad about not having achieved more. I said, “relax, settle in”. Meanwhile, Fluff has been selling for less than a year and a half and I’ve been feeling bad for not having achieved ‘more’ too.

Stress: where you are vs where you thought you’d be, and not knowing how to get there.

It’s all relative. Knowing when to stay or knowing when to walk away. Speeding up or slowing down. Risking it all or playing it safe.

Right now I’m trying to get curious when I get triggered. I’m trying to create space before I react; to increase the time between stimulus and response. To control the choice I have in regards to a specific outcome.

Right now I’m trying to decide between making decisions for myself, someone else, or if there is a happy medium where I can achieve both.

Right now I’m trying to have fun. Laugh a little.

So in many ways, life feels mental. And in others, it feels totally normal. As my investors remind me, this is business, and the ride has barely begun.

My focus is perspective: to turn stress into eustress, and change the mentality of my reality.

Once again I find myself needing Fluff’s message perhaps more than our audience. It’s all fluff, right?

If you like this, please share this with someone who might be interested. And If you think you’ve got a lot going on in your head, it might help to get it out. Curiosity is great. Wine is nice. Therapy is even better.