#9 2018

Time since products launched: 6 months.
Time spent on brand: 26 months
$ Invested: 770K+

I’m starting this email with the exact email I sent my staff a few weeks ago:
I’m reading this book at the moment, and thought I’d share a few pages with you in an effort to be more open (feelings.)

I said the other day to a friend that this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and it’s not even hard yet. Right now, I’m torn between being able to completely rationalise our position, and my expectations weighing down on me heavily and unrealistically.

I’m so proud of our message, our product, our team, and the brand we’ve created. It’s taking longer than we all expected, for the ‘pin to drop’, and that can be emotionally exhausting and frustrating for all of us. Other days, this very thing motivates me in a way I didn’t think was possible. What we’re doing is important.

When people come into the store to buy product, when girls send us their Issuesand pour their heart out on their screens, when the industry acknowledges what we’re doing, it makes this easy.

When PR ignores our emails, when investors say no, and when things are delayed, it makes this really hard.

I’m not yet in the deepest depths of ‘The Struggle’, as mentioned in the book. But I’ve definitely felt better than I do now. And I can definitely relate to what they’re talking about. I’m sure we all can, in some way.

It is however, giving me the opportunity to think about what I want to do. And I’ve never doubted that it’s this. I know I’ll be able to look back and laugh at this email, and all the times I’ve cried.

So this is a bear with me email. I’ve got so much more to give to this brand and company (even if it’s with a furrowed brow sometimes) and I won’t be able to do it without you. I believe in us.

The last six months have flown — and yet I’ve felt every day like it’s been an eternity. Not to mention the six months before.

Here’s a summary of my 2018:

Started something I truly cared about.

Almost killed the editor of iD mag.

Invented the word ‘clippet’.

Found more people to give me more money.

Had to make an employee redundant.

Got a tonne of parking fines.

Missed my rent several times.

Held a few babies.

Held a few lambs.

Held a bunny.

Decided I want to buy a batch in NZ.

Had a children’s book published.

Bought two new pillows.

Had a lot of feelings.

Went to some more weddings. Not in a white dress.

Missed a flight.

Was told I had no feelings.

Lost two scarves. Still feeling sad about the first one.

Sent too many photo/video messages.

Asked my nana if she’d thought about dying.

Spoke at some events. And schools.

Bumped into people that I used to know.

Sold a cafe.

Started volunteering.

Ate at some really nice restaurants. Thought about my life priorities.

Attempted pottery. Failed.

Drank a lot of wine.

Meditated.

Didn’t meditate for a while.

Tried to have relationships. Couldn’t.

Sampled countless products.

Got some tattoos.

Fought with my business partner.

Cried a lot.

Didn’t know what to say a lot.

Did freelance work to pay bills.

Had a girl hand me a serviette in a bar saying that what we were doing was important.

Felt tired. Motivated. Defeated. Excited.

Got ignored by influencers.

Got ignored by beauty editors.

Lost my phone.

Was late a lot.

Missed someone I didn’t want to miss.

Ate a lot of bread and butter.

And dark chocolate.

Went to the beach to think.

Thought about money, motivation, and mindfulness. Having all three at once is hard.

Wondered why Mecca has 37 bronzers ranging from $22 to $165.

Pondered why some websites don’t have product incis.

Questioned why brands claim to be cruelty-free while their top ingredient is palm oil.

Thought about what we were doing wrong.

Forgot to think about what we were doing right.

‘Adopted’ a 19-year-old.

Realised that while I wasn’t micro-managing, I was making myself available all the time. I was there to help when my staff knew how to help themselves.

Tried to drink more water.

Got my twin back in my life.

Did a lot of yoga.

Gave my mum dating advice.

Had more questions than answers.
How long can we hold on?
What are we willing to risk?

Learnt that no one cares.

Wore less makeup.

Read a lot of things I cared about.

Had a pretty keep cup.